Postcards From The Road Back To Home, But Really Not Like This At All.
Last time Teigan sent me a postcard the batteries on my camera ran out and I couldn't document the occassion. This time around though, the same thing happened. I got around the problem (both times) by using a grainy web camera. Here, enjoy with your eyes.
No normal human could ever decode such a mess. Here's a transcript.
"Best wishes from Manchester & Happy New Year! Hope you had a good one & a good Xmas also. LJ & I took ecstacy on N.Y.E & went to a club with burlesque dancers. The day before that we went to a Revisionist Gnostic Mass put on by a schizmatic branch of the O.T.O. Everything has been very good in general. I got this card from a shop in town also selling magical novelties, DVD [something, looks like rewtal, it's anyone's guess], Rekkids [?] & really good baked potatoes. [what shop was this!?] Sorry not to catch up although I will be in London on the night of the 9th if this gets to you in time for that, which I realize it probably wont. Fond regards & best for 2006 xx Teigan."
There was also a tiny note scrawled from LadyJ.
"Hi Adam! Sorry we didn't catch up during T's visit. Now you'll have to come to Melbourne! j"
Yes, I will have to come to Melbourne. Thank you for the card.
This is the card. The father and son ar on a train, the child has a box with tenicles coming out of it. The father speaks to the son.
"That's some cephalopod, son." Are his exact words, probably refering to the cephalopod in his box. The cephalopod in this case, is probably some sort of octopus. But these things are unimportant. Here is the back.
No normal human could ever decode such a mess. Here's a transcript.
"Best wishes from Manchester & Happy New Year! Hope you had a good one & a good Xmas also. LJ & I took ecstacy on N.Y.E & went to a club with burlesque dancers. The day before that we went to a Revisionist Gnostic Mass put on by a schizmatic branch of the O.T.O. Everything has been very good in general. I got this card from a shop in town also selling magical novelties, DVD [something, looks like rewtal, it's anyone's guess], Rekkids [?] & really good baked potatoes. [what shop was this!?] Sorry not to catch up although I will be in London on the night of the 9th if this gets to you in time for that, which I realize it probably wont. Fond regards & best for 2006 xx Teigan."
There was also a tiny note scrawled from LadyJ.
"Hi Adam! Sorry we didn't catch up during T's visit. Now you'll have to come to Melbourne! j"
Yes, I will have to come to Melbourne. Thank you for the card.
posted by Hamish at
12:19 PM
5 Comments:
>No normal human could ever decode such a
>mess.
And yet when I fail to send them postcards, they often complain. They just do not understand. They are not ready. One day, perhaps, they may be ready. This is what I tell them. Then they look at me as though I am the crazy one.
People.
*rolls eyes with whole head*
>DVD [something, looks like rewtal, it's anyone's
>guess]
Rental, dumbass.
We got Ghost World, Salo & The Cook The Theif His Wife & Her Lover. It was perfect. They didn't sell DVDs at all, incidentally. Which was just fine, as we were not looking to buy - only to rent.
I suspect that, like the subject of that Savage Garden song, we dreamed this shop into life.
The magical novelties were superb also. I stocked up on plastic fortune telling fish in huge quantities. At, like, 25p a pop it would have been foolish not to.
And! We found a woven hessian fingertrapping device which I foolishly stuck my finger in, experimentally like. Even though there were huge signs plastered everywhere saying "DO NOT EXPERIMENTALLY PUT YOUR FINGER IN THE FINGERTRAPPING DEVICE." It looked flimsy enough.
Then the proprietors had to call a special guy to come and use elaborate and quite disturbing Hatian voodoo techniques in order to get my finger free.
Man, was my face ever red.
> Rekkids
This is American for "records", which are an antique audio data storage technology popular in the twentieth century. Bit like CDs, but made of vinyl and utilizing ancient analog vibrational principles known to the Mayans and other pre-digital civilisations, instead of optically rendered computer data.
(Just because they didn't know about lasers and microchips - as far as we know! - doesn't mean they weren't very wise.)
>[what shop was this!?]
It was called "Oklahoma", like the Rogers & Hammerstein musical but without an exclamation mark. Here, see.
> best for 2006
Was this my mistake or yours? Not sure about that one. But I will tell you this:
>http://www.ladyj-hurray.com/
You so totally just made that URL up.
Compulsive! Yes, you are.
Downstairs is a roomy basement-converted art gallery with space for hanging out, or a hammock if you just want to hang.
A hammock! I totally missed that!
Still bummed I never got to take you downstairs. I find it almost sus that it's perpetually "closed." Hmmmmm.
Will have to bring my spy cam next time and see if I can inveigle my way down...
Rentals seems apparant now although it was impossible to read at the time.
Savage Garden knew more than they let on, often to great personal sacrifice. They were wanted men.
The shop sounds wonderful. We have a place (if not many places) that sells the finger trapping devices. The get away with not helping people as much by insisting that they are meant for bouncing and not trapping.
Bouncing, like squeezing it until it's ready to bounce and then let go.
This is no use for a finger trap.
LadyJ-Hurray might just become registered by me... But probably not.
Let's all go to the basement!
J - I didn't know you had a spycam...
Savage Garden knew more than they let on, often to great personal sacrifice. They were wanted men.
I know. This why I relate to them so much.
We have a place (if not many places) that sells the finger trapping devices. The get away with not helping people as much by insisting that they are meant for bouncing and not trapping.
Devious.
Let's all go to the basement!
Hurrah!
PS Yes, you will have to come to Melbourne. You can stay with us. We still have Sammy's old sleeping mat - and grooming kit! You will be well groomed. Yes, you will.
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