Skarma

How cool does that look?

Actually, this plaster looks better than the other 3. This bitch wouldn't stop bleeding. But there is no way to make a fat cut on your chin look cool. The cool thing to do would be to let it bleed all over my face and pretend that I don't care. But that's messy and I like this shirt.

I got this small but annoying injury just before an attempt to something very stupid involving a slippery slope, an unstable vessel and a tarmac landing. If imagine that this stunt would have actually hurt less than the cut. But that's karma for you.

So in the name in unlikely injury I present you with this odds and statistic. Please injoy.

• Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1
• Odds of injury from using a chain saw: 4,464 to 1
• Odds of drowning in a bathtub: 685,000 to 1
• Odds of being killed sometime in the next year in any sort of transportation accident: 77 to 1
• Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1
• Odds of being killed by lightning: 2,320,000 to 1
• Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1
• Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1
• Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1
• Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1
• Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1
• Odds of a meteor landing on your house: 182,138,880,000,000 to 1
• Chance of dying from any kind of injury during the next year: 1 in 1,820
• Chance of dying from intentional self-harm: 1 in 9,380
• Chance of dying from an assault: 1 in 16,421
• Chance of dying from any kind of fall: 1 in 20,666
• Chance of dying in an explosion: 1 in 107,787
• Chance of dying from a mountain lion attack in California: 1 in 32,000,000
  
• Chance that Earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years: 1 in 5,000
• Chance of dying in such a collision: 1 in 20,000
• Chance of dying from choking on food: 1 in 370,035
• Chance of dying from legal execution: 1 in 3,441,325
• Chance of dying from contact with hot tap water: 1 in 5,005,564
• Chance of having a stroke: 1 in 6
• Chance of developing schizophrenia: 1 in 100
• Chance of contracting the human version of mad cow disease: 1 in 40,000,000
• Chance of getting prostate cancer: 1 in 6
• Chance of getting breast cancer: 1 in 9
• Chance of getting colon / rectal cancer: 1 in 26
• Chance of beating pancreatic or liver cancer: 1 in 9
• Chance of dying from SARS in the United States: 1 in 100,000,000
• Chance of dying from a shark attack: 1 in 300,000,000
• Chance of developing cancer in you lifetime: 1 in 3
  

So there you have it. Worry about flying or swimming all you like, you're probably just going to get cancer.